The Road to Dungeon Master Part 2

If you haven’t had a chance to read part one of Heather’s to part series, you can find it here.

My evolution from non-gamer to game master has led to many positives in my life. In my last article I shared how I got into role-playing games as an adult. I’ve made lots of great friends through gaming groups. I’ve put my imagination to work and relearned how to relax and have fun. I’ve even found a new way to connect with my son, James, in his pre-teen and teenage years.

I’ve been game master for two kid-friendly campaigns over the past years. The first included adults and kids, but the second was entirely 12 year old boys. Both of these campaigns were a lot of fun, but the best things to come of them by far are the relationships I’ve built with James and his friends.

James and I talk about gaming all the time. We enjoy those conversations, and it makes the conversation easy. At 13 years old, most kids think their parents are distinctly uncool and would even prefer to do homework than spend time talking to mom or dad. However, when my son and I spend all evening discussing a concept for a new character or tossing around ideas for a new campaign, it’s easy to segue into a conversation about how things are going in school, or how he feels now that dad isn’t living with us anymore. Of course, like most teenage boys he is less than wordy when it comes to sensitive topics but he does talk to me and that’s a good thing.

I’ve turned all sorts of deep conversations into easy lessons using D&D scenarios. Even though the teachable moments are great, they aren’t the point. The most important thing is just being together –  talking, spending time enjoying each other’s company, and building a relationship that I hope will help make the teen years much easier on both of us.

James and I play games on a regular basis. I know his friends because they have sat around the table with us. They are comfortable talking to me, and I’m comfortable welcoming them into our home and spending time with them.  I know about their social lives, their latest crushes, the teachers they like and dislike. My hope is that they are coming to feel that I’m a safe person to talk to about more important topics. These conversations, especially with my son, seem more important now than ever.

A lot has happened in my life over the past several months. By far the biggest of these has been my separation from my husband after 16 years of marriage. In this time of emotional and physical upheaval, I thank God all the time that my son and I are on such good terms. It is a blessing that he is comfortable talking to me. While it would be an exaggeration to say that our closeness stems from just gaming together, it most certainly is a contributing factor.

Teenage boys may make me want to pull my hair out sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade these experiences and the relationships with James and his friends for anything. I look forward to many more years of fun and fellowship and conversations around the gaming table (or on Skype, since we’ve now ventured into a Pathfinder campaign on Roll20.net with out-of-state friends).